Pregnancy Weight Gain

I know a number of people who barely gained weight and even lost some weight during pregnancy. It’s quite common for people with bad morning sickness or if you start from a higher BMI. Naturally I assumed I would be one of those people. Ha ha, what was I thinking???

I didn’t actually weigh myself when I first got pregnant, so it’s hard to know how much I have really gained. My last weigh in was on the 3rd of August 2016 when I weighed 77.6 kilos (170.7 lbs). I got pregnant about the end of October and I predict I weighed closer to 80 kilos (176 lbs) by then. During those few months I had a couple of indulgent weekends away and I was also eating and drinking more than usual because I was feeling a little down and out.

So here are my pregnancy weight stats at 25 weeks:

Pre- pregnancy start weight: 80 kilos (176 lbs)
20 week weight: 85.4 kilos (187.8 lbs)
25 week weight: 87.8 kilos (193.1 lbs)

This is a gain of 7.8 kilos (17.1 lbs) so far and I still have 15 weeks to go. Hmmmm.

All the information that I have read says that, at my BMI, I should only gain between 7-11.5 kilos (15.5 – 25 lbs) throughout my entire pregnancy. Holy shit, that is not much! So I had aimed to only gain about 10 kilos (22 lbs) maximum.  I have a feeling that baby still has a whole lot more growing to do, so I don’t think this will be a realistic goal.

It’s unfortunate that I gained so much in my first 20 weeks. I was so nauseous that I was eating a lot of carbs (at all times of the day and night) to make me feel better. I definitely didn’t eat as well as I could have in that time, but I just couldn’t face a whole lot of fruit or veg. Plus the Christmas period and moving house twice meant I was eating a lot more indulgently than I usually would. What can you do…

I do eat much better now (see typical diet here) and I also walk to work every day and plan to start pregnancy pilates this week. So I know that I am doing the best I can and my body will do what it needs to do to cook a healthy bubba. In all honesty, there is also a part of me that is in awe that I haven’t lost the plot completely and gained 30 kilos so far. So I am patting myself on the back a little bit too.

Here I am just before pregnancy (floral dress) and at 24 weeks pregnant (stripes).

Pre-pregnancy

24 Weeks

I’d love to know how other women handled pregnancy weight gain. How much did you gain? Was it hard to get off again? Did you struggle a little bit when seeing those numbers go up every week?

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In case you’re interested, this is typically how the pregnancy weight gain distributes:

Baby: 3.0 to 3.6kg
Placenta: 0.7kg
Amniotic fluid: 1kg
Larger uterus: 1kg
Increased blood volume: 1.4 to 1.8kg
Extra fluid: 1.4 to 1.8kg
Bigger breasts: 1kg
Fat stores: 2.7 to 3.6kg

I Can’t Wait…

When I was recently reflecting on 7 years with the lapband, I found this post from my old blog talking about all the things I can’t wait to do when I lose weight.

Wow I had really forgotten how much I hated myself and just how scared of life I used to be at 130 kilos. I thought that I still had a lot of issues now (and I probably do), but I can really see just how far I have come in the past 7 years.

Reading through this list I felt so sad for the old me, but also grateful for the life I have now.

Strap yourself in, it’s a long one.

Here is what from 2009 couldn’t wait to do when I lost weight:

~ Shop, shop and shop some more
Shopping is definitely easier, but it’s still not something I enjoy much. Those change rooms are still tortuous. Is shopping fun for anyone?
~ Give myself a pedicure without damaging my internal organs when I bend over
LOL! Yes, I guess I can do this now, but I’d rather pay someone else to have to deal with my manky feet!
~ Have awesome, long, crazy sex in all sorts of positions
Ummm… this is a bit TMI! Obviously I thought I was going to become Samantha from SITC when I lost weight… Well let’s just say that I am still a bit lazy in the sack.
~ Wear jeans without an elastic waist
Yes! Just last Thursday night I stopped by the shops to get some new jeans from Just Jeans in a size 14 and they weren’t even stretchy. That is a big achievement for me!
~ Run into old friends without wanting to hide
Oh God no, I still hate running into old friends, but that is mostly due to my anti-social nature.
~ Go on hikes with my family
I did do a bit of this, especially while travelling in Canada in 2010. In fact next weekend I am going on a walk with my (ex) sister-in-law. Anytime I am in a situation when I am walking or hiking with friends I always feel grateful that I can do it now because I remember how hard it used to be and how much it scared me.
~ Fit into everything in ‘normal’ shops
Nope. Not even close. I can fit into skirts and and pants normally, but not dresses or tops because I am still quite big across the top. I do get lucky sometimes and can fit into an oversize top or dress. It’s still sooooo much easier than it was before.
~ Zip up killer knee high boots
I have done this, but they are normally still stretchy boots, my calves are still a little chunky.
~ Sit on any seat without fear of it breaking
I don’t think I will EVER lose the fear of breaking seats. I have PTSD when it comes to flimsy seats.  Just the other day I tried to make AJ swap seats with me at a restaurant because I thought mine would break, but I forgot that I actually weigh less than him now, so I had to take the dodgy seat.
~ Eat in public without getting those looks
I forgot about those looks! I haven’t stressed about being shamed for eating in public in a long time. Unfortunately I am still very likely to spill food on myself when eating in public. I’m still a grub.
~ Go to the hairdressers and be able to look at myself in the mirror without disgust
Oh this makes me sad for past me. I remember how hard I found it to look at myself in the mirror at the hairdressers. How much I hated myself. I still curse myself for going to the salon and not wearing makeup or my double chin caused by those unflattering capes, but it doesn’t upset me.
~ Shop in designer stores
No, can’t do that, but that’s OK.
~ Fit comfortably on a massage table
Yes, I love getting massages now. I remember how much I hated my first massage when I was at my biggest. It was physically painful to be on the massage table and I hated every second of it.
~ Wear stupidly high stilettos
Ha ha… no I still can’t manage high heels. Probably never going to happen because I have foot issues from plantar faciitis and I am not coordinated.
~ Have a summer where I don’t get so hot and sweaty
I actually love summer now and rarely feel overly hot and sweaty. If anything, I tend to be too cold most of the time and will even wear tights and coats through summer. What a difference.
~ Ride a bike
I am shit scared of riding bikes in the city! I have ridden a bike when I went to Lombok a couple of years ago and it felt amazing to ride around the island and to the beach on a bike. If I lived in a smaller town I would definitely buy a bike.
~ Have beauty treatments without feeling fat and disgusting
I thoroughly enjoy having beauty treatments now. I would do it every day if I could afford it.
~ Stop defining myself by my weight
Well that is something I still strive to do every single day. I am getting better, but I am still a long way from being successful.
~ Wear sexy (and incredibly uncomfortable) lingerie
No, I simply can’t be fucked…
~ Have a flat stomach
Thanks to my body lift surgery I have a pretty flat stomach (but lumpy back)
~ Be fit enough to participate in a team sport or a gym class
I haven’t really done this because I am not really a sporty kind of person. I am not motivated by team sports or gym classes, but I could probably keep up enough so that I didn’t make a complete fool of myself. I have semi-regularly attended yoga and Pilates classes over the years without too much embarrassment.
~ Use public toilets comfortably
Oh yeah, I forgot how difficult those small cubicals could be to navigate. Especially when they wedge in a huge sanitary napkin bin right next to the seat. Now my only issues with public toilets are that I am a germophobe. I still can’t really hover either, I do not have the strength… I should do more squats!
~ Be able to walk anywhere without getting tired
Yes I can most of the time (except for issues with my plantar faciitis). I am so grateful for having better physical fitness and stamina.
~ Have more confidence in myself and my appearance
An hour ago I would have said no, but after reading this list I have realised how much my confidence has actually improved. So this is a yes!
~ Sit on someones lap
I regularly annoy AJ by sitting on his lap and tickling him or interrupting his iPad games.
~ Dance in clubs without looking ridiculous
Noooooo, I still look ridiculous!!!!!!!!! I probably look more ridiculous because I will attempt to drop it like it’s hot or be all sexy and I cannot pull it off.
~ Get up off the floor without using my hands
I can do this, but will normally use my hands because it’s easier.
~ Have the energy to do anything I want on holidays
I do have the energy to do anything on holidays now, but I very often choose to relax and do as little as possible. Since losing weight I have had some amazing adventures on holidays that involve hiking, helicopters, beaches, canoes, bikes, dancing, boats and all the things I didn’t think I could do before.
~ Not worry about dying from obesity related diseases
I don’t worry about this anymore.
~ Get on a plane and be able to do up the seat belt and pull down the dinner tray
Yes, it is such an amazing moment when you can do this for the first time after being overweight for so long. What a feeling.
~ Go to Disney World and ride any ride I want to
I did this on a trip to the USA in 2010 and I had an amazing time. I think I was the happiest person at Disney World that day!
~ Stop blaming my problems on my weight
I don’t think I do this anymore??? I do still eat my feelings, but that is a seperate issue.
~ Wear a bathing suit with confidence
Was I thinking that I would be a swimsuit model when I lost weight? No I don’t think I feel confident, but I am much better than I used to be. Just last weekend I went to the Mornington Peninsula hot springs and walked around in my bathers just fine.
~ Get a bit of male attention when I go out
This doesn’t happen too much, but that’s OK, I probably wouldn’t know what to do with it!
~ Wear shorts without them bunching between my fat thighs when I walk
Ha ha, this still happens! I don’t really wear shorts very often for that reason.
~ Go to job interviews without worrying about my weight
Well I just went through this after being made redundant and I have to say that I didn’t feel like my weight was a factor in any of the job interviews I had.
~ Get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me
I think I could do this, but I normally just dry myself and get dressed, I don’t really prance around in just a towel.
~ Go to the beach with friends
I am sure I have done this, but I am not really a beach person, I prefer to swim in pools. Or just sit by the pool with a cocktail.
~ Be able to see my vagina again
Oh wow, I forgot how honest I can be. Thanks to that body lift surgery my vagina is back in full view!
~ Feel normal
Well normal is a very loaded word. I am going to say that I do feel normal enough, especially in comparison to how I used to feel.
~ Go to the gym without feeling like an imposter
Yes, but I still hate exercising in the gym (because I am lazy).
~ Have someone be able to lift me up
AJ does often pick me, but I am not exactly a lightweight, he can only pick me up a few feet off the ground.
~ Go to any event and not worry about how I look and what I’ll wear
I will never stop being neurotic about how I look and what I wear at events. Even if I was a size 8 I would still stress about how I look. I am about 90% better than I used to be though.
~ Be able to do up my bra from the back
I haven’t actually tried, maybe I will try tomorrow morning. Does it even matter?
~ Go to the footy and feel comfortable in my seat and going through the turnstile
Yep, I have done this many, many times. I never take it for granted though.
~ Feel young, pretty and carefree
Wow, that is a strange thing to say. I can’t say that I have ever felt that way, but maybe I was expecting too much from weight loss?
~ Be able to wear the robes at fancy hotels
I love doing this now.
~ Run when I want or need to
I frequently run for the tram, but that’s about it!
~ Have girly days with my girlfriends and feel comfortable
I often have girly days at spas, wineries or the races and don’t feel like my weight is an issue (though I don’t think my friends ever felt like my weight was an issue, that was just me)
~ Have a defined waist, hips and chest
Not as much as I had hoped, but a huge improvement on what I used to be when I was 50 kilos heavier. Spanx helps!
~ Wear skirts in summer without chaffing
Generally this is OK, but I still have the occasional chaffing incident. Ouch.
~ Meet new people without wondering if they will hate me because I am fat
Yes and no. I have mixed success on this, I still often think I am not attractive enough to be liked or accepted by people.
~ Not be scared of new things
I am much better at this, but my nature is still that of a scaredy cat.
~ Not feel limited by anyone or anything because of my size
I don’t think I do let my weight hold me back from too much these days. I still have my issues with food and self confidence, but I am doing OK.

This is a photo of me taken today at the build site of our new townhouse (about to fall off that plank of wood into the mud). I don’t know exactly what I weigh, but I am feeling better in my skin.

The Hunger

Well I have almost finished up my first three weeks in my new job… and it only feels like three years… I think it’s safe to say that I am not one of those people who would choose to work if they didn’t have to. Obviously those people are insane.

Anyway, all this hard work has given me THE HUNGER. I just want to eat and eat and then eat some more. Why does thinking make me so hungry?

It’s not exactly unusual for me to turn to food when I am stressed (or happy or sad or excited or depressed or bored). So I am just trying to make good choices and not worry too much about weight loss. If I can get through my first few months in this job without gaining a stack of weight, I will call that a victory.

Exercise has not been a priority for me right now. I am working fairly long hours and it’s the dead of winter, so let’s face it, who can be arsed? I am walking about 25 minutes each way (a slow walk) to my tram stop to get to and from work, so at least I am getting some movement in most days.

I have to say that I am not exactly loving life right now, so I am just going to channel my inner Britney.

I feel better already!

Weight Update

I’ve been pretty clear that I don’t get along well with the scales. I don’t make it a habit to weigh myself, but I also don’t want to become scared of the scales or completely delusional about my weight because then I get out of control.

So last week I tried to ever so casually step on the scales and check in to see how they were tracking.

The results

Previous weight: 5th February, 86.1 kilos (189.4 lbs)
Current weight: 4th May, 82.3 kilos (181 lbs)
Loss: 3.8 kilos (8.4 lbs)

I was really happy with this result!

I know that losing 3.8 kilos in 3 months is not much, in fact it’s only 0.29 of a kilo per week. Wow, talk about taking my sweet time. If I had been weighing myself every week I would have gone completely insane to see the numbers moving that slowly, so it reassures me that not weighing myself was the right decision.

So why so slow? Well my weight loss has always been pretty slow. I have PCOS and insulin resistance, which means my body just does not like to shed the bloody weight.

I have also enjoyed my life to the full, which for me means dinners out, drinks with friends, family meals, weekends away and day trips with plenty of good food and wine. I do try and moderate these indulgences to once a week, but sometimes life doesn’t work out like that and I am learning to be OK with it.

The other reason my weight loss has been pretty slow is that I have reintroduced carbohydrates into my diet. For years I have been trying to stay low carb (with varying levels of success) and it does seem to work best for me and my weight loss. But, I just can’t live like that anymore. I am sick of being hungry and unsatisfied and just bloody tired from having no fuel in my tank.

I have changed my approach to monitor sugar rather than carbohydrates. My diet now includes, legumes, brown rice, quinoa, freekeh and wholegrain bread. I do still limit the amount I eat and will try to only have one serve per day while my body adjusts to the change. I knew this would impact my weight loss but it was worth it to me to feel healthier long term.

So what is next? I want to keep losing weight and I would love to get to between 75-78 kilos (165 – 171.5 lbs) by the end of this year. I don’t want to worry about that too much right now though, I just want to focus on choosing the right behavious: balanced eating, exercise and not hating myself.

This is me taken this morning in the gym in my apartment building. It’s a horrible photo, but it gives you an idea of where I am at this weight.

Downward Spiral

Since losing my job last week, a huge focus for me has been on making sure I don’t spiral into a dark (and fat) place. It doesn’t take much for me to lose myself and wake up 20 kilos heavier, even when life is going well.

Almost every year I seem to go down a hole at some point and gain anywhere between 5 – 30 kilos. Sometimes it is sparked by a stressful time in my life, but sometimes it just seems to happen and I don’t realise until I none of my clothes fit me and I don’t recognise myself in the mirror. I seem to be very good at living in denial.

I know that being unemployed could be a trigger for depression and anxiety for me as I am susceptible at the best of times. So right now I am really committed to focusing on my physical and mental health at this time when I know I might be vulnerable. I need to find a new job and I can only do that if I feel good about myself- mind, body and spirit.

One thing I can do for my physical and mental health is exercise. Who would have thought I would ever say that?

Prior to being made redundant from my job I hadn’t been to the gym in about a year. Let’s face it, the gym is just not a good time. It gets boring and people sweat everywhere and often lack basic manners. Now that I have a lot of spare time on my hands and energy to burn, I am back at the gym every day to try and get those happy endorphins.

I am lucky that my apartment building has a lovely gym and pool available for me to use for free and a great river trail just outside my front door. It also helps that I can exercise during the day and avoid the sweaty crowds. Plus, I really  don’t have much else to do with my day and it makes me feel like I have achieved something.

So I’ve got the exercise part covered, now I just need to turn my attention to stress/comfort/boredom eating… Oh but it is just so damn satisfying…

 

Walk the Line

I’m trying very hard to do things this year that make me feel healthy and happy. It feels like there are a few big things in my life that are hard to change that make me unhappy (though I am trying). So I am trying to focus on the little things I can do to be happy.

The first thing I started doing was walking half way to work every morning and half way home every evening. Instead of catching two trams to work, I walk the 25 minutes by the river to my tram stop. It really only adds about 10 minutes to my commute because it means I don’t have to catch one of my trams.

I love the city, but being around trees and nature just makes me feel at peace. It gives me the same soothing feeling that chocolate does… well maybe not quite as good, but close! It really is the perfect way to start and finish my work day.

I have always loved walking to work, but stopped due to chronic plantar fasciitis pain. It hasn’t improved, but I have decided to live with the pain for now because I really want to move more and be invigorated by nature.

The bonus is that it means I spend less time on crowded trams and I get some exercise.