I’m on a diet and I only have one thing to say…
But you might ask why I am so hungry if I had lap band surgery? Well, me and my lap band are not friends at all anymore.
I had lap band surgery in 2009 and, with great amounts of dedication, diet and exercise, I managed to take my weight from 130 kilos (286 lbs) to a 75-85 kilo (165 – 187 lbs) range. That was amazing! Unfortunately I did not ever really get to feel fuller from eating only small amounts of food. I mostly lost weight because I could not physically keep my food down.
Eating really did just become too hard. It was physically painful and stressful. I turned to ‘slider’ foods like chocolate and ice cream that I could get down. I struggled with nutrition and general health (anemia, B12 deficiency, constipation, exhaustion).
I’ve had well over 50 adjustments of my band to try and find that elusive sweet spot, but I have never found it. I persevered because I thought I was doing something wrong, Maybe I was eating too fast or not chewing my food enough? Or maybe I just need one more adjustment and it would be more comfortable?
Ultimately, I think that a big reason why I struggled so much was that I am a very anxious person and I found that stress, anxiety, tiredness and sickness all made my band clamp up tight. Once my mum got sick and I was looking after her and under a lot of stress my band became totally unmanageable. After she died I ended up begging the doctor to just remove as much fluid as possible because I couldn’t cope with the additional stress of not being able to eat.
I am so much happier without fluid in my lap band. I love being able to eat in any restaurant and not spend the entire time in fear of getting stuck. I love eating lunch with colleagues at work and not looking strange as I nibble on my food and then rush off to the bathroom to throw it up. I love it when someone offers me a taste of their food and I can confidently have a bite without consequences. I love cooking a delicious meal at home and being able to sit down and actually enjoy eating it.
The major negative is that I do really struggle to keep my weight off now. I tend toward binge eating to manage anxiety and the one thing that the lap band did was stop me being able to binge eat. So I guess I have to pick my battles… I can either have fluid in my band and not be able to eat or have the fluid taken out and be able to eat too much. Nothing is ever easy.
