11 Months Old

Age: Oh my god. I have an 11 month old baby. I would be outraged at how big he is and how quickly time has flown, but I can’t be sad about it because I feel so blessed for every moment with him. Sorry for the mush!

He finished a big development leap about a week ago and I can see his skills increasing on a daily basis! He dances, throws balls to you, reaches when he wants something, plays chasey with me (of sorts!) and tries to do the actions to incy wincy spider. Today he tried to put the lid back on his yoghurt tube.

He isn’t walking on his own yet, he cruises around the house holding onto furniture and walls very well (and getting into every cupboard). I don’t see that he seems inclined to walk independently any time soon and I’m not exactly encouraging it. He’ll get there in his own time.

Feeding: He has 3 bottles of formula a day and 3 meals a day. Pretty easy. His favourite foods are mandarins, pears, apples, peas, broccoli, avocado, quinoa, peanut butter sandwiches, hummus and crackers and weetbix. I cannot get him to eat bananas. I thought all kids loved bananas? I’ve tried making banana pancakes, muffins and oats and he won’t touch them. Weird. Maybe I’ll try a banana smoothie this week.

I did suspect he had a dairy allergy at one point so I shifted him to almond milk in his cereal (lucky he didn’t have the allergy because I forgot his formula was cows milk too, whoops). It turns out it wasn’t a food allergy, it’s discoid eczema. The doctor has given me all sorts of steroid creams for him that should clear it up. Thankfully he doesn’t seem itchy or bothered by it. I’ve actually got it too and I’ve mostly grown out of it as an adult.

Sleeping routine:Well, well, well. My perfect sleeping baby has completely disappeared. It’s been a tough month.

When I try to put August to bed he just screams when I leave the room. He’s never been like that before. He has never needed to be rocked to sleep or been clingy to me. It can take me 2-3 hours a night to get him to sleep now. I think he has separation anxiety, apparently it peaks around this age.

The only thing that works is if I put him in bed with me and then transfer him to his cot when he’s asleep or if I lay next to the cot with my hand in there for him to put against his cheek. So many times I have thought he was asleep and try to sneak off and get busted and have to start the process all over again. Normally it’s when I’m hungry and really want dinner.

It’s been a bit of a drainer because by the end of the day I really want some time to myself to relax and it’s hard to get that right now. Plus I feel bad for the little guy who seems so scared if I leave him at night.

He’s also been waking once a night on most nights (he hasn’t done this since he was 10 weeks old). Sometimes he wants a bottle, mostly he just needs a cuddle. This doesn’t bother me too much, I just sit in the rocking chair and cuddle him until he falls asleep.

I can’t seem to get answers on when/if this stage will stop. It shows no sign of ending any time soon. The benefit is how cuddly he is right now. Silver linings!

Firsts:

Clapping- he finally knows how to clap. He used to think that clapping was slapping his hand against mine, now he understands how to clap his own hands together.

Tantrums- he stiffens up and arches his back when I take something off him that he wants (like the iPhone cord, our house plants or the toilet paper). It’s cute right now, I’m sure I won’t always think so!

Talking- he’d been saying Mum, now he also says dad and puppy. Plus he often tries to repeat other words like pop, oops a daisy, no or any other random word he hears. It’s mostly unintelligible, but I can understand him.

Understanding me- he knows what ‘no’ means and how to ignore me. When I’m trying to get him to sleep he picks up his dummy that is attached to his comforter and tries to throw it away (I have no idea why) and when I say ‘no’ he stops, looks at me and then deliberately throws it 5 seconds later and is very pleased with himself. Same when I tell him ‘no’ when he’s touching the fireplace (which I keep switched off during the day for safety). He knows enough to stop, but then can’t help himself and grabs it anyway and thinks it’s a great game. It’s pretty funny.

Achievements: It’s been a long time coming, but Augie has finally stopped being spewy. He’s only spewed a couple of times in the past month and it’s made life so much easier. It was so awkward when someone wanted to hold him or I took him somewhere and I had to worry about him spitting up.

The best part is how much less washing I have now. I was having to wash mine and AJ’s clothes every day (if not more if he spewed on me in the morning). Now I can get more than one wear out of jeans again. Yay!

Things we have learned:We can’t read to Augie before bed anymore. He’s obsessive and just won’t stop. He’ll have mini tantrums if I stop reading. His favourite is Puppy Makes Mischief that my friend (and blogger) Cat bought him. I know all the words by heart now! The book also came with a soft puppy toy and Augie has discovered it and is equally obsessed. He now says “puppy” and when I ask him where puppy is, he crawls over to get him and give him a cuddle. So cute. Thanks for the pressie Cat, he just loves it. 🙂

Appearance: He is still my chubby little blonde boy. He’s getting more hair and it’s growing into a nice little mullet. Good look Augie.

AJ weighed him yesterday and he was about 10.5 kilos. That’s why my back hurts!

We’ve had 4 more teeth spout up this month (no wonder he won’t sleep). So now he has 6 teeth total. The funny thing is that he has popped one big top front tooth, but not the other front tooth, so he looks a little lopsided. Now he’s grown the little tooth next to it, but not the big front one, so he’s got two on one side and none on the other. It’s an interesting look…

Mummy update:Its been a weird month for me after losing my job. I’m feeling a real loss of identity without a career to go back to now. I can see how hard it’s going to be to have a meaningful career and have the time I want with Augie and it’s been a difficult realisation. I guess this is why people say that you can’t have it all.

It was also weird that it happened so soon after moving away from the city. I felt a bit isolated being away from all my friends and then losing my job on top of it made me feel so disconnected.

So I have thrown myself into this mummying gig. I’ve joined a local playgroup, been going to baby time at the library and I even finally joined Facebook (which I hate) just so I can join the local online Mum groups- which actually seem to be pretty annoying. But I am going to go to a few catch ups and see if I can connect to other mums. I also even had a coffee date with a Mum I met in the playground. Whoa. It’s been a big month for an introvert like me!

Fark!

I’m feeling super flat this week. I was made redundant from my job on Tuesday. Yep, again.

I was totally blindsided, I had no idea it was coming. I don’t work Tuesdays, but I had just spent all of Augie’s morning nap doing work anyway. My new boss called and so I immediately knew something was wrong because she’s never called me. Funnily enough, I felt so secure in my job that I thought someone else must have been fired or quit and they were just filling me in. Ha ha.

Nope. My boss very coldly read off the script she was given telling me I no longer held a position there and that I needed to bring my laptop and swipe card back. The whole thing took about 5 minutes and that was that. I haven’t heard anything more from them. It feels so weird that I’m just never going back to work.

Pretty much my whole team was made redundant because they are decentralising the department. Meaning that instead of one national marketing team, they will have localised marketing in each state.

Last time I was made redundant it felt completely different. I saw it coming so it wasn’t such a shock and I hated my job so it was essentially a good thing (even though I was pissed off at the time). Last time I took it quite personally because I was the only one made redundant. So I was a bit bitter about the whole situation, but hopeful that I’d end up happier.

This time I don’t feel embarrassed because I know it wasn’t personal. But, I just feel gutted to have lost my job for so many reasons. Mostly because this is the first job I have ever had that I liked. I loved the projects I was working on at the moment. Since I came back from maternity leave I somehow managed to hold onto the good parts of my job and let go of the parts I hated. I would actually do it for free, that’s how much I love it.

I also feel like it’s unlikely that I’m going to be able to find meaningful employment part time. I’m not ready to go back full time yet because I’m loving the time at home with Augie. I want that (elusive) balance of family and career and, for me, that means only working part time. I don’t want to just take any crappy job because if I’m going to be away from Augie, it needs to be worth it. But, part time jobs are hard to find. Good ones anyway. What happens if I can’t find work and the career that I have been working to build for years just dissolves???

Plus, I just feel exhausted at the idea of doing my resume, going to job interviews, learning a new job and bonding with new colleagues. I seriously can’t be fucked. I don’t have the energy for it right now.

Look, as down as I’m feeling about this situation, I know this isn’t a real problem. My loved ones are all healthy and I have a roof over my head. So while I’m having a little pity party, I know that things could be worse. Plus, this gives me more time to read books in my pjs with this little guy. So I’m ok.