The Bloody Scales

funny-weight-scale

After being unexpectedly weighed by my plastic surgeon last week I decided I had to break my self-imposed scale ban and see what I weighed on my own scales. I figured I would have the home ground advantage with my own scales. When my surgeon weighed me I had drunk a glass of water and was wearing my underwear, which was obviously adding at least 5 kilos!

So I weighed myself last Friday morning and the result was 86.1 kilos (189.4 lbs) which was 2.4 kilos less than he weighed me. Phew. That number is much closer to where I thought my weight was currently sitting.

The ridiculous thing is that the number on the scale changes nothing. I am the same person I was before I knew how much I weighed. I should look and feel exactly the same regardless of whether I know or don’t know how much I weigh, right?

But, it doesn’t work like that for me because after knowing my weight I started feeling fatter. I stared at myself in the mirror at home and my brain was thinking “Oh yeah, you are really quite fat, look at your chubby face and how wide you are. Oh and those arms are like planks of wood, keep those covered up.”

It’s the Schrödinger’s cat of the scales. When I didn’t know how much I weighed I could be simultaneously thin or fat in my head. Once I knew the number, I was just fat.

Clearly weighing myself is not healthy for me. I am trying to feel good about my body regardless of its weight and size­­. So, I won’t make a habit of weighing myself in the future, but I will step on the scales occasionally to measure my progress, if I feel like it.

weight

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Too Fat for Lipo

Ugh… I had a shitty week, but TGIF I suppose.

I’ve had some challenges at work, I got my first ever migraine (aura and everything), fell over outside my work and had a miserable doctors appointment.

So the doctors appointment… I decided to go back to see the plastic surgeon who did my body lift to ask about some liposuction on my lower back. I had always been unhappy with my lower back after my surgery because it bulges out, instead of curving in like a back should. It makes me feel very insecure and I go to a lot of lengths to try and cover it up. I thought a little lipo might help the issue.

Turns out that I am too fat for lipo.

embarrassing

My surgeon asked me how much I weighed and I told him that I don’t weigh myself, he said ‘maybe that is your problem’. Ouch. So, at his insistence, I got on the scales and the number was 88.5 kilos (194.7 lbs). Admittedly, this was much higher than I anticipated. I genuinely thought I was at least 5 kilos less than that. Damn it.

eating problem

Then he gave me a lecture on how I need to go back and see my lap band doctor and use my lap band properly… blah blah blah. I tried to explain that I had difficulty with it, but I could tell he just thought that I was full of shit. He was so pro-lap band that it wasn’t worth discussing further.

annoying

He said he wouldn’t do anything with my back until I lost 10 kilos. Even though he admitted that weight loss wouldn’t really improve my back issues. If I was braver, I would have said that I thought he should have fixed my lower back issues properly in the first surgery (I didn’t because I am a scaredy cat).

fuck you

I’m not saying he was wrong, he is the expert after all, but his delivery could have done with a little work… What really frustrated me was that he didn’t understand that I could be OK with myself at my current weight and that I just wanted to fix an issue that puts my body out of proportion. I guess a cosmetic surgery is not the best place to try and be body positive… ha ha!

stop talking

I left the appointment feeling pretty stupid and $225 poorer. The whole experience completely put me off the idea of having lipo for now.

interesting visit

So that means I can put my money toward much more important things.

fries