The Hunger

Well I have almost finished up my first three weeks in my new job… and it only feels like three years… I think it’s safe to say that I am not one of those people who would choose to work if they didn’t have to. Obviously those people are insane.

Anyway, all this hard work has given me THE HUNGER. I just want to eat and eat and then eat some more. Why does thinking make me so hungry?

It’s not exactly unusual for me to turn to food when I am stressed (or happy or sad or excited or depressed or bored). So I am just trying to make good choices and not worry too much about weight loss. If I can get through my first few months in this job without gaining a stack of weight, I will call that a victory.

Exercise has not been a priority for me right now. I am working fairly long hours and it’s the dead of winter, so let’s face it, who can be arsed? I am walking about 25 minutes each way (a slow walk) to my tram stop to get to and from work, so at least I am getting some movement in most days.

I have to say that I am not exactly loving life right now, so I am just going to channel my inner Britney.

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I feel better already!

First Day

Is there anything worse than the first day at a new job? Well, lucky me, I kind of get to do it twice. I started my new job on Monday and had off-site training with my new boss all day Monday and Tuesday. So now my first day in the office and meeting my team is tomorrow (Wednesday).

I was so nervous about starting work that I spent all day Sunday concocting a plan to escape. I worked out that it would be cheaper to live in a pool villa in Bali than in my little Melbourne apartment. So it would only make sense for me to move there right? Or I would also happily move to a little house in the mountains and spend my days working in a winery. They can even pay me in wine, I am totally OK with that arrangement.

I obviously sucked it up and started work on Monday and so far it has gone pretty well. I overreacted as per usual… As much as I love not working, I also love spending money, so work is a necessary evil that I will just have to deal with.

Now I just need to find out the most important thing… how soon I can start having my online shopping delivered to work.

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Elevator selfie on my first day of work

Life Moves On…

After I published my last blog post freaking out about my new job, AJ sensed that I was anxious and asked if I wanted to go for a drive. It was late on Sunday night, but I needed to get out of the apartment to try and calm my thoughts.

We seem to always have our best chats when we are just driving around and looking at the city lights. Normally one of us will convince the other that we need a chocolate sundae from McDonald’s. OK, normally its me that makes the case for a sundae. And a cheeseburger.

We decided to go for a drive to my new office and plan out all the different routes I could take to get there from my current apartment and my new house when I move. I found it strangely calming to get organised and know exactly where my commute would take me (and find the best bars close to my new office).

As we kept driving and talking, AJ said that he had been thinking about my mum that week and how proud she would be that I got this job. It meant so much to me that he acknowledged her and how she would feel about my achievement. There are so few people in my life who knew my mum. I find that I crave acknowledgement of her existence and how much she meant to me.

I had been thinking a lot about her all week and felt so sad I couldn’t tell her about my new job. The last time I got a new job she sent me these flowers because she was so proud of me.

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My mum left school when she was about 12 and had her first baby at 16. She didn’t have an education or a career, but she was adamant that those options would be open for me. Whatever I chose to do, she would support me. I know she would have been proud of this new job and telling everyone she met in the supermarket or pharmacy that her daughter got a new job. She would have made it sound much more impressive than it actually was, but there would be no way she would believe that it wasn’t the most amazing job in the world. I did love to make her proud.

I find change so hard to deal with these days. It feels like every little way my life changes moves me further away from my mum and the life I had when she was alive. I know AJ really understands this because he lost his dad 9 years ago. I feel so lucky to have his support through everything that has happened with my mum. Thank god we have each other.