It’s been 3 months now with this little delight in our lives. I am surprised at how much I am loving being a mum, but it hasn’t all been sunshine and roses…
Smiles and laughter: It lights me up inside when I see him smile or laugh. Like there is just no way I could ever be sad when he smiles or laughs. It’s everything.
Playtime: It’s so much fun to play with him. Singing, dancing, reading and just pulling faces are all so much fun.
Holding onto you: He’s always loved to hold your fingers or hair and snuggle in. It’s the best.
Sleeping: Watching him sleep is pure bliss. Sometimes I just let him sleep on me during the day because it is such a delight to snuggle an angelic sleeping baby.
Waking: When he wakes in the morning he just lies there with a big happy grin waiting to be picked up. I am such a sap that I am normally waiting impatiently for him to wake in the morning so we can have a cuddle.
Seeing others happy: It brings me a huge amount of joy that his presence has also bought joy to my loved ones.
Watching the changes: We have squeals of delight every time we notice him doing any little new thing like hold a toy or watch you across the room. It amazes me to watch him learn and change.
Everything: Honestly, every day with him is good.
Repetitiveness: At this age we are doing the same thing over and over and it can get repetitive.
Mess: I knew this would be hard for me. Kids just create and cause mess. It’s hard to keep up with it. I do my best because it makes me feel calmer to be in a clean and tidy house.
Attention: I like to keep to myself usually, but having a baby meant having a lot of new attention from family, friends and even strangers. I do find it hard to deal with having more people around me and having less time to recharge from it.
Breastfeeding: Well, as we all know, it works or it doesn’t. Even when it does work, it can be painful and difficult. It hasn’t worked for me and it’s been hard mentally and physically to come to that conclusion.
Lack of control: My time and space is not my own anymore and it’s hard to let go of that sense of control. I’d love to know that my baby will feed or sleep at a certain time, but he doesn’t work that way unfortunately. Every day is a mystery!
Bodily fluids: In honesty, I thought this would be harder to deal with because I have a very sensitive stomach. I’ve actually managed ok, but I certainly won’t be sad when his spewy phase is over.
Cutting nails: Good god, they are hard to cut and he loves to poke himself in the eye and get a fright. Can someone start a baby manicure business please?
Sleep deprivation: I have been pretty lucky, but the first 10 weeks were tough. Very tough. After that he started seeping through the night. When you are in it though, it feels like it will never end.
Money: Going from two salaries to one is hard financially and certainly causes some worry. It’s amazing what you learn to go without though.
Me time: Like writing on this blog. We have a 2 hour cycle of feed, play, sleep. He normally has 4 x 30 minutes sleep during the day, so during that short sleep window I need to get all my crap done- eat, clean, toilet, emails, texts, Instagram, online shopping. At night he is normally asleep by 8.00 pm, which is when we cook dinner, eat, watch TV, clean and sterilise bottles, talk to each other and get to bed by 10.00 pm. Non-stop party time here!
Freedom: I miss being out to go out with AJ and have a few too many drinks, some delicious food and then sleep in the next day, order Uber Eats and watch Netflix all day. I really miss my freedom, especially in the first couple of months, but I’m getting used to it. Life just takes a lot more forward planning these days.
Watching him grow up: As much fun as it is to watch him change, it’s also heartbreaking because you also want him to stay your tiny little baby forever. Sob.
Worry: By far and away the absolute hardest thing about having a baby for me is the constant worry. My heart just aches when he cries. It genuinely makes me feel physically ill. Plus all the worry about whether you are doing things right. Are you worrying too much? I want to be a relaxed parent, but is this being relaxed or negligent? It’s a fine line sometimes!