Week 17: 10 February

How far along: 17 weeks!

How big is baby: The size of a turnip. That just makes me think of yummy homemade soup.

Sleep: Up and down. Insomnia strikes about half of the time, but I guess I am getting used to it. I just try not to worry about it snuggle up with AJ while he snoozes and play with my phone (when the internet works here).

Symptoms: Not too many physical symptoms. I’m tired, grumpy and stressed, but I think that is more about my living situation right now and not pregnancy. I think physical symptoms are going well this week though. 

Best moment of this week: To be honest, I couldn’t think of any great moments this week. I am trying to find my happy place in small things like burning a nice candle, going on a weekend walk, watching a movie with AJ. It’s the little things…

Miss anything: Hmmm, what don’t I miss… my own space, a kitchen, not sharing a bathroom with teenagers, phone service, internet, TV reception… Not that I am complaining or anything… 🙂

Movement: I think I actually felt something this week. A few times I felt some pretty major flutters in my tummy that I am pretty sure was bubs somersaulting around inside.

Food cravings: Nothing in particular, but still enjoying fruit, which is unusual for me.

Anything making you queasy or sick: The same things like coffee, mints, pepsi max, but they are making me feel much less sick now. Things are on the way up.

Gender: I don’t know! I am projecting girl because I really want it to be girl. Most people say they think I am having a girl because they know I am a girly type and would suit having a little girl. Or they are trying to be nice and make me feel better!

How’s your mood: Oh my goodness, I am a mess. I cried on the train tonight while reading a sad book. So that says it all.

Looking forward to: Just moving into this next stage of my life, I’m ready to fast forward past the next few months and be in my new house, on maternity leave, with my baby.

The Bump: I know you can’t see anything in the photo below, but I can see it a bit more now and I can definitely feel it. I am starting to get a lot of comments from people who think its strange I don’t have a bump yet, but it really is quite normal from what I have read. I am not expecting to be showing for another 4 or so weeks.

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The 5% Rule

I’ve done every diet under the sun over the years. I’ve lost and gained hundreds and hundreds of kilos on these diets. Now I’ve decided I really only follow one simple rule when it comes to healthy living: only consume food and drink with less than 5% sugar.

This works well for my body because I have insulin resistance and my body does not respond well to sugar. In the past I have tried to eat low carb, but I think it’s more important for me to monitor sugar, rather than carbs now.

Let me tell you, this eliminates a lot of foods! I tend to eat a lot of lean meat, vegetables, salad and eggs. I supplement this with brown rice, freekeh, quinoa and legumes. But, it isn’t always practical to prep and cook these foods and a lot of the time I simply can’t be bothered. So these are my go-to items that get me by in-between cooking sessions.

Of course Im not perfect and tubs of ice cream and macaroni and cheese will regularly make an appearance in my diet, but this is the principle I follow most of the time.

I’d love to know if anyone else has any great low sugar products to share. Oh and if you can find me an ice cream with less than 5% sugar, I will give you every cent I have (disclosure: I am poor).

Mayvers Peanut Butter– Dark Roasted is my favourite, best eaten straight out of the jar!

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Jalna Greek Natural Yoghurt– Why are yoghurts so full of sugar? This hits the spot.

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Hubbard’s Natural Muesli- 5 Grains & Hazelnuts– Wow is it hard to find a low sugar cereal!

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Sirena Tuna in Oil with Chilli– On corn thins or just on its own as a snack

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Corn Thins– Topped with cheese and avocado

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Cool Pak Popcorn – For movie night, or any night…

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Coles Simply Less Dark Chocolate– For those sweet cravings

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55

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Dear mum,

I can’t believe you are 55 today. I still vividly remember planning your 40th and then 50th birthday celebrations like they were yesterday. It’s the third time your birthday has passed without you here now. I don’t think it gets any easier. Dealing with the constant feelings of loss and sadness just becomes a new normal.

You have missed so much this past year. There have been so many changes in our little family! My little brother and his wife moved all the way to Sydney for work, I started building a new house, I was made redundant from my job, my older brother became estranged from our family, I got a new job and I bought a new car. So it’s been a good and bad year. I know it would have been a lot easier to cope with it all if you were here.

The biggest thing that has happened to our family is that you are expecting your first grandchild. No, it’s not from me! Your youngest son is expecting a baby with his wife in October. I am so happy for them, but it has been really hard news at the same time. I know how badly you wanted to be a grandmother and so it just breaks my heart into a million pieces that you aren’t here to experience it finally.

There is no one is the world who wanted to be a grandparent more than you did. Ever since I was a little kid I can remember you talking about being a grandmother. You had us kids so young that you decided that you would probably make a better grandmother than mother. So you talked non-stop about “when I have grand kids” all the things you would do better. I wish I had bothered to tell you that you were actually an amazing mum and that you had nothing to make up for. I’m so sorry that your grand kids won’t have you in their life.

I’m at home in bed sick today and I have no doubt that if you could, you would be here making me soup and cleaning my house so that I could rest. That would make you happy on your birthday. You loved to be needed by your kids. Instead, I will go and buy your favourite white flowers and think of you.

I want you to know that you are so, so very missed.

Love ya mum.

xxoo

Read 54 here

 

 

 

Dazed & Confused

mid life crisis

I finally get around to writing a blog post and now I stare at the screen and feel like I don’t know here to start. This has been my general state of mind for the past 18 months. Confusion.

It’s annoying because I am normally a decisive person who knows what I want. Sometimes I don’t know how to get it, but at least I used to know what I wanted.

Ever since my mum passed away last year I feel lost all the time. It’s like I have lost the anchor in my life and I am drifting.

  • Should I look for a new job?
  • Should I buy an apartment?
  • Should I move to the country?
  • Should I move to Sydney
  • Should I have a baby?
  • Should I quit my job and do nothing?
  • Should I go travelling?

Oh god, I just don’t know what to do. All of the above? None of the above? I do know that I am craving change. I turn 35 in a few months. What do I want to do with my life?

I wish I could just relax and let life happen, but I feel like I am at a turning point in my life… if only I knew which way to turn.

Until I can figure it out I guess I just keep going along as I am where the only decision I need to make is red wine or white wine.

Back!

I have returned from a wonderful 3 week work/holiday trip to the US and i’m back at work today.

Cue major depression.

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Also, right now the only clothes I have that fit me are my pyjamas. It was pretty hard to find something to wear to work today… Apparently I can’t eat 10,000 calories a day for a month and still fit into my clothes.

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Diet starts NOW!

Oh god, i’m hungry already…