This has been a really tough week for me, not as a mum, but just in general. Sadly, my gran passed away this week. She was my mum’s mum and Augie’s last remaining great grandparent. She had been in a nursing home for a long time and due to all the flu deaths in nursing homes this winter, I wasn’t able to take Augie to visit her until he had his vaccinations. He was due to have his vaccinations on Wednesday and she passed away Wednesday morning. I was just devastated.
I woke Wednesday morning, before I knew she passed away, and felt really stressed about Augie’s vaccinations that evening. I considered cancelling and putting them off a week, but the only thing that stopped me was that I really wanted to take him to visit my gran that weekend. We were really close my entire life and it was really important to me that she got to meet my son. Especially because my mum is no longer with us and my gran is the closest connection to my mum.
I feel so guilty that I didn’t take August to meet my gran now. Maybe I was being overly cautious, would it really have mattered? I guess I’ll never know. With my uncle passing away last month, it’s been a difficult time. It feels like all the pieces of my mum are gone now.
So after receiving this sad news I didn’t end up taking August to have his vaccinations that evening. I was already nervous about taking him anyway (because I can’t bear to see him in pain, not because I am anti-vax!) and so I was just too upset to handle it that night. I was getting them done through the council in a group session and so now I missed that opportunity I need to find a doctor to get them done privately. I don’t have a doctor in the new suburb I moved to recently, but one of the girls at my mothers group gave me a recommendation so I’ll get them done next week.
Age: 7 weeks old. He certainly seems to have a lot of character for such a little boy. He keeps me entertained all day with his funny faces.
Feeding: I’m still mixed feeding and the little boy is taking 150ml bottles after breastfeeding. I’ll breastfeed for about an hour per session and he is still starving, so he clearly isn’t getting much milk. During the nights I am exclusively bottle feeding so that I can get some sleep, otherwise his feeds take hours. It seems to be working for us.
Sleeping routine: This week Augie naturally dropped his 11.00 pm and 1.30 am feeds, which meant he was sleeping from approximately 8.00 pm – 4.00 am straight. OMG this is amazing! I am a bit scared to get too excited about this great sleeping pattern because I have heard horror stories about regression, but I am enjoying it while I can.
His day sleeping is a bit all over the place though. He was consistently sleeping in the afternoon, but some days he’ll have a big morning sleep instead. Some days he will only have mini sleeps throughout the day and get cranky and over-tired. This makes it really hard to plan out my day and leave the house. I still won’t complain because the most important thing is that we are both getting sleep at night!
- Recognising us- On Thursday night AJ told me that it seemed like Augie recognised him when I passed him over, but I doubted it… Then on Friday morning I put Augie in bed with AJ while I had a shower and when I got out and saw them in bed, I decided they looked so cosy that I was going to get back in for a cuddle. When he saw me his whole face lit up and he was smiling uncontrollably. It was very cute.
- Tram ride- I braved Melbourne’s public transport system and took Augie on his first tram ride. We live in an inner city suburb and I am a nervous city driver, so I rely heavily on public transport. I was pretty bloody nervous about taking him on the tram, but it wasn’t too hard in the end. AJ helped me on the first leg of the journey, but I was on my own for the trip back. Everyone told me that people would offer to help me with the pram… nope, no one offered to help me at all LOL! I managed though and Augie behaved himself so it was fine.
First tram trip!
Achievements: Making it to my 6 week check up. I have found getting out and about on my own with bubs a little bit stressful, so I was dreading this appointment. I hate having to be somewhere at set times because Augie’s routine is so unreliable. Even trying to get to the supermarket can take me two hours because he will decide he needs a feed as I am walking out the door, then he needs a nappy change and then a sleep… And what if he projectile vomits or I need to change a dirty nappy? These things freak me out a bit. Hence why I am becoming a bit of a shut in. Lucky for me I have had plenty of visitors and I can walk around my neighbourhood with Augie until I get more confident with taking him out on my own.
Things we have learned: That our social life is dead for now. We can’t go to the restaurants and shows and events that we used to. We really wanted to go to the footy on Friday night to watch the Richmond v Geelong final, but of course we have nowhere to leave the little guy and he can’t be out in the freezing night with 95,000 other people at a stadium. This is probably the hardest adjustment for us because we really like to do things together. Of course we can come up with new things to do as a family, but we are missing our old lifestyle quite a bit.
Appearance: The little guy seems to be gaining weight well. I weighed him at mother’s group and he weighed 4.3 kilos. This still puts him at only the 11th percentile, but he is gaining the right amount of weight each week and he is definitely looking nice and healthy. Everyone is noticing how much his face and little tummy have filled out now. Funnily enough, the chubbier he gets, the more people say he is starting to look like me. Should I take offence? Ha ha!
Mummy update: This is the week I put a stop to my out of control eating. I was obviously using the whole baby thing as an excuse to eat as much as I wanted and I was starting to feel pretty crappy. I ate so well in my pregnancy for the health of bubs and then I just stopped right away as soon as I had the baby. I don’t want to put my health on the back burner just because I had a baby, if anything, it’s more important than ever.
I was eating blocks of chocolate, cakes and packs of biscuits every day because I was so tired that I needed a sugar hit. It’s hard to make good choices when I have my hands full with the little one, but I am feeling better already. I am certainly not being perfect with my eating and I don’t want to be either. I am still breastfeeding so it’s important I eat enough to keep up my supply and my energy. I just want to eat foods that make my body feel good and will hopefully help me lose some weight eventually too. I want to lose about 10-15 kilos, so it’s going to take a long time and I don’t want to sacrifice my entire lifestyle, so it’ll be slow and steady.