Ahhhh :(

Honestly, winter can fuck off.

Augie is sick again. He’s been sick constantly since the start of May. This brings with it behaviour issues, no sleep and just misery for everyone. It’s been cold and wet so it’s hard to do anything outside and he refuses to wear a jacket or hat. I still try to take him to the park and he won’t get out of the car, but what else can I do to occupy him? I took him to the indoor trampoline centre and he just lay on the trampolines.

We go into Melbourne as much as possible to go to the Melbourne Museum and Scienceworks, which I can’t recommend enough for babies and toddlers. It’s amazing. If I lived in Melbourne, I’d go every day. Spring is just around the corner so I just need to hang in there. We are going to Sydney this week and it’s a full 10 degrees warmer there every day. Insane. Why don’t we move to Sydney?

Well in other news, I lost my job last week. Yep, this is the third time in a row I have been made redundant. Un-fucking-believable. I thought it was coming for a while so it wasn’t a shock. The whole team were made redundant because the company has no money, so I guess I can’t take it personally. In many ways, it’s a relief because I was burning the candle at both ends to work 25 hours and still be a full time stay at home mum. I was kind of killing myself and felt like I was a shit mum and a shit employee so it was causing me a lot of stress.

I’m not really sure what I’ll do now. I had a good situation where I was mostly working from home. I live a long way from the CBD so it makes it difficult to find work. I also just don’t think Augie is ready for childcare yet. He’s incredibly shy and I just don’t want to put him through that trauma. I really wanted to wait to put him in childcare when it was best for him, not when it suited me. I’m not sure I’ll always have that luxury, in fact I may need to start checking out childcare centres very soon.

Augie had a 2 year check up with the child and maternal health nurse a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t a great experience. She got in his face immediately to engage him and upset him and just didn’t seem to understand he was shy (then she refused to let him have a sticker unless he came and took it from her, which he was too scared to do). She gave me a massive lecture that I rock him to sleep and said I was hurting him and it was very sad for him that he needed to be rocked to sleep. She told me he should go to sleep school and when I mentioned that I understand they let kids cry it out at sleep school and she said that’s what he needs to learn to sleep. I’m not at all supportive of cry it out methods for our family and I’m finding it frustrating that it seems to be the norm in our culture. When I talk to friends, or other mums or read sleep advice online it always leads to cry it out methods. I end up feeling like I need to defend my gentle approach. I think I just need to stop talking to people about it. The next time someone asks me how he’s sleeping, I should just say “fine”.

She also did an autism screening test, which he passed fine as it was just about making eye contact, pointing at things, recognising his name, creative play and things like that. I did raise with her that I had niggling concerns about him being different to other kids. I don’t know how else to say it, but he just isn’t the same as other kids at playgroups or my friend’s kids. I like to say he’s quirky, but I do worry it’s more than that. He’s obviously very shy, he’s obsessed with fans (which is an autism factor), if we go somewhere he just plays with the fire hydrants or other weird things and not the toys, he gets obsessed with opening doors and flicking on lights, sometimes when I sing or put on music he says “stop” like the noise upsets him (I do have a terrible singing voice). I don’t know what is just being a toddler and what is different. I really wish my mum was here because she had three kids and I’m sure she’d be able to give me some guidance.

It plays on my mind a lot. I’m not sure if it’s heightened because about 6 years ago I worked with a girl who was pregnant with a baby boy and she was obsessed with worrying he would have autism (he doesn’t). I don’t know if I would have actually thought about it if it wasn’t for that experience. AJ just recently reminded me that my mum used to say she thought I was autistic when I was young (which I’m not) so maybe it’s just hereditary traits. I guess all I know is that I think he’s perfect as he is right now and I don’t want him to change. But I still worry.

I’ve been quite down in the dumps lately from work stress, lack of sleep, feeling lonely, gaining weight, financial pressures, missing my mum and a lot of small things. I decided last night I need to do 3 things to feel better:

  1. Count my blessings to have AJ and Augie
  2. Be of service to the community in a charitable way
  3. Exercise

Wish me luck.

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23 Months. OMFG!

I can’t even cope with the fact I have an almost 2 year old. Wow, 2 year olds are so old. I used to look at 2 year olds at the park or on mummy instagram accounts and think they were practically adults. Now I have a 23 month old on my hands. But, I will not complain about Augie getting older because getting older is a joy and a privilege that not everyone gets to experience.

Last month we were at the end of a horrible sickness for Augie. I was feeling pretty low and wondering if my gorgeous boy was ever going to snap out of it, but he did eventually. We’ve had some rough days/nights with his back molars starting to come in, but nothing we can’t handle.

This month we went on a big family adventure with a trip to Uluru for my step mum’s 50th Birthday. It was an amazing holiday with my dad, step mum, brother, sister-in-law and niece. We had a direct flight to Uluru and it was only 3 hours. Augie was fantastic, he slept and then played and watched the iPad on both flights. Uluru was incredible and I’d love to go back one day and have more time to soak it all up and do some hikes.

We stayed at the big resort there and had 3 apartments all next door to each other, which worked out awesomely because we could all come and go and still hang out while the kids slept. We did the fancy Sounds of Silence dinner, a helicopter flight, spa afternoon and the Field of Lights. The only hard part were the flies. I bought a fly net after less than an hour there. I could not handle it. 😣

So I’m not sure if Augie has had a development period, but everyone says he looks massive all of a sudden and his speech and awareness has just gone nuts. He’s often talking in [short] sentences now. Things like saying “eat eat eat apples and bananas” which is a Wiggles song he likes. Tonight we were reading a book and he said the line “hurrah it’s a party”. It’s definitely a lot easier when he can communicate like this now. Though one funny thing he does is say “more” when he wants something, but I often don’t know what he wants, so I’ll say “more what?” and he just says “more PLEASE”. Hmmm, great manners, but not helpful.

Right now his favourite things are “this little piggy”, riding his little bike inside, washing the dishes {making mess} and watching cars drive past outside through the window. He is also constantly picking up AJ’s tins of mints and spilling them all on the floor and saying “oh no… mints” and claps his hands on his face like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. Now whenever ever he has any accident he says “oh no… mints” even though mints were not involved. It’s very cute.

He’s finally starting to get into colouring and has learnt all his colours now and loves pointing them out everywhere we go. We have a google powered light in the office and you can change the colour with voice activation so he just yells at it all day “OK Google PURPLE! BLUE! PINK”. He’s even learned fuschia, magenta, gold, vermilion (apparently that’s a colour). His memory is insane, we drove into Melbourne the other day and he started saying “Fishies! Owls!” because he realised we were near the aquarium (he calls penguins “owls”. I think he’s going to be smarter than me soon.

Some other things:

  • His 2 year old molars are coming in… it’s tough going
  • Won’t ever say “yes”, every answer is “naaaah”
  • Does not like wearing clothes (or god forbid a jacket). It’s a constant battle
  • Balloons, balls and bubbles are life
  • Loves to sit on a step and say “ahhh comfy”
  • Will not eats vegetable to save his life
  • Asks to take a photo and holds my phone up at a selfie angle
  • Must have two of every food- one for each hand

Something has happened in the last month and he’s suddenly super clingy with me. He has always been a total daddy’s boy. He would literally shove me away and scream for DAD-EEEEE. But now he’s just all about mum. He snuggles into me, touches my face and says “mu-um” in the sweetest voice. I won’t lie, I bloody love it. Finally!!!

I’m not sure if it’s just winter, but I am feeling a bit down lately. I’ve been regretting our decision to live away from friends and family and just feel so isolated. I’ve been making a concerted effort to hang out with people more and it really helps, but I’m just not loving our new house out in the suburbs. I miss our little house by the beach and our city townhouse. I don’t think I’m cut out for the suburbs. Where to next I wonder? I’m getting sick of moving around, but I just haven’t found the right place yet.

*****

Literally as I was writing this and about to post a week ago, I hear a little voice on the baby monitor saying “mum” super quiet… I investigate and we have projectile vomit. Poor little guy was throwing up for 2 hours. Thankfully he seemed to get it out of his system and he was perfectly fine the next day.

Never a dull moment! Actually that’s a lie, there are plenty of dull moments in parenting… 😝

22 Months was (still is) Hard Work

The big thing this month was moving house. We had to move out of our rental and find another rental because the landlord wanted to move into the house. It was super frustrating to have to move after only a year and with a home business and toddler… it was hard work! We aren’t in love with the location of our new house, but it’s a good fit for us. We have heaps of space and Augie even has his own playroom now. He absolutely loves it and just sits in there playing on his own. We also have a really big hallway so we got him a little bike and he loves riding up and down. It’s perfect timing for winter as he’ll be entertained inside the house.

Augie’s play room before I installed storage and tidied it up!

Just after we moved house Augie got sick. He never gets sick and has been over 12 months without even a cold, so I took him to the doctor and she said he had a bacterial throat and ear infection and gave him antibiotics. The next day he broke out in a rash, so we took him back to see a doctor and he said that he was fine, just sensitive to the antibiotics, but to continue taking them. Then almost a week later he broke out in a much worse rash so I took him to yet another doctor and this one said he had glandular fever and the antibiotics had reacted with the virus. Then the next day his rash was alarmingly bad so I took him to the emergency room for assessment. They were not sure what exactly was wrong so referred us to a pediatrician.

The pediatrician assessed him and believes he is allergic to antibiotics and that he should never have been given them in the first place as he probably had a viral infection and not bacterial. And he most certainly should not have been told to keep taking them after he exhibited a reaction. He was prescribed steroids and phenergen to clear up the rash and sent home.

Side note to all this, each assessment was bloody traumatic for him to be poked and prodded by strangers when he was sick. Plus forcing medicine into him constantly while he kicked and screamed was horrible and completely unnecessary as it turns out.

You’d think that’s the end of the story, but it continued to get worse. A couple of days after taking the steroids he literally became manic. Waking up at midnight and screaming, thrashing, clawing like a wild animal. It would take him about half an hour to calm down and then he wouldn’t go back to sleep all night. I have to drive him to get him to sleep at all. We are on day 4 of this right now. No sleep, melt downs and manic behaviour. My only guess is that the steroids have affected him and they need them to wear off (he’s finished taking them now). It has been the most heart breaking thing to witness.

This exact situation is why I resisted having a kid until my mid-30’s. I was so scared that I’d struggle to cope with seeing my baby in distress. I was right. It has just totally broken my heart to see him in pain and distress. It’s actually even harder than I imagined. Especially because I feel that I should have handled things better and been more critical of what the doctors told me. Big lesson learned.

On a less depressing note, we were in ikea a few weeks ago and forgot to take in Augie’s drink bottle. Of course he demands a drink and we try to ignore him because we were about to go get dinner in a few minutes. It turns out that Augie pronounces “drink” like “dick” and stood in ikea saying very loudly “dick” over and over again until AJ ran to the cafe and bought him a bottle of water. Mostly just to save embarrassment! On that note, my niece pronounces “truck” like “cock” and points out every car she sees and says “cock”. It cracks me up every time. Especially her earnest little face when she says it.

The other thing I’ll remember this month by is Augie saying “oh whoops” approximately 5000 times a day. He says it when he drops stuff or trips over, but also when anything is not how he wants it. If his show isn’t on tv or he doesn’t like the food I’ve given him he says “oh whoops” like it can magically fix the problem. Or if he deliberately throws his fork on the floor and wants me to pick it up. It’s very cute.

Now I’m just going to post some extra photos because I e been at work all day and I miss my baby. 😭

Mothering

Me and Augie on Mother’s Day πŸ’—

All I ever bang on about here is being a mum, so I couldn’t let Mother’s Day here in Australia pass without some reflections.

I didn’t realise that when I became a mum that it would become my whole identity. I think I thought I would maintain more of a balance. Maintain more of myself and my old life. A number of factors have meant that this has not worked out for me.

Moving to a new town and getting a new job shortly after Augie was born means I lost all my pre-mum friends and life. Plus not having family close by to help with Augie means it’s just impractical to do anything without him. The rare occasions I do the grocery shopping or something else exciting like that without him feels surreal.

All the friends I’ve made in my new town are ‘mum friends’. We only hang out with the kids and our connection is based around kids. I really like these women but they are all so busy and their husbands work long hours with long commutes and so no one has time to hang out without the kids. I don’t even know what most of them did for a living before becoming mums. But I know what their kid ate for breakfast. It’s so weird.

I absolutely love being a mum. I don’t think anyone expected me to be such a ‘mumsy mum’, least of all me. I mentioned something about being a bit worn out the other day and AJ said that I make it hard on myself because I’m so hands on with Augie. I’m on the floor playing and reading and playing chasey all day. He said, you should see us on Tuesdays when you’re at work, things are different around here, there is a lot more screen time! He went on to say that the amount of time I give him is not the norm and that’s why I’m tired. Which he meant as a compliment… I think. πŸ˜‚

I love the every day mum stuff, but by far the hardest thing about being a mum for me is losing time to myself. I have very little time to myself these days, I work while Augie sleeps, so I generally get between 8.30 – 10.00 pm after he goes to bed and then I fall asleep while scrolling Instagram because I have to be up at 5 am for work. I find this very, very difficult. I don’t want to complain because I’m very fortunate to have this life, but I want to acknowledge that it’s not easy.

I am a very introverted person and I could happily spend days on my own. Without this time to regenerate I feel less like myself. I sometimes drive Augie to a park 15 minutes away just so I can have that 15 minutes of quiet time to listen to a podcast while I drive. It just re-sets me and makes me a better mum. Plus Augie loves looking out the window and having quiet time too I think.

I moved house last week and while going through all my stuff I wondered who this person was who had sparkly dresses, fancy shoes and dangly earrings. I genuinely don’t recognise that person anymore.

I don’t want to lose that part of me and I don’t think it’s healthy to be so one dimensional. I want Augie to have a well-rounded mum with interests outside of him. This particular season of my life is all about being a mum, but it won’t always be like this and I’ll miss it when it’s over. In fact, I already see August growing more independent every day.

I try and recognise that I’ll look back on this time as the best days of my life so I want to enjoy it while I’m living it. I’m very lucky. πŸ’•

20 Months is my Favourite

I have to admit, Augie has been quite a handful these last 6 months. He has been into bloody everything. These last couple of weeks he suddenly seems a little more chilled (hopefully I’m not jinxing this). In fact, I would say that this age has been my favourite so far (which says a lot because I loved the newborn stage).

The difference is communication, it’s actually a 2-way thing now and it means I can understand him more and he can tell me what he wants. His most used words are: help, more, no and up. He can pretty much express everything he needs with those 4 words, followed by “peeeeese” (please).

He was a very easy going baby, but he is one determined toddler. He must do everything himself! He says screams “I do, I do” when I try to help him. My dad made him a stand so he can help in the kitchen. Every morning he drags it to the bench and makes toast and coffee… and mess. I ask him:

Me: What do you want for breakfast?

Augie: Toast!

Me: What do you want on the toast?

Augie: Butter (meaning peanut butter)

Then he doesn’t eat it. πŸ˜‚

His obsession with the car is getting worse. I’ve given up and just plan to let him play in the car for 15 minutes before we go anywhere. It’s actually good because I can race around and pack his food and stuff without him in my hair (the garage is attached to the house and I can see him in the car). He pushes all the buttons and says “broom broom” and “beep beep” and when he’s done he puts himself in his car seat and I can strap him in and go. It’s a phase he’ll get over eventually.

He’s just starting to get into playing with dolls and stuffed toys. When he won’t get in his car seat, pram or high chair I will put one of his dolls or teddy bears in there and say “look, baby wants to sit in the pram” and he falls for it and gets in. He feeds them, gives them his sippy cups, kisses and cuddles them. It’s so cute. Yesterday I saw him put them in his doll pram and rock it back and forth and say “hushhhhh”, which is what he says when I sing hush little baby to him before he goes to sleep every night. So then I started singing hush little baby and he ran over to me and jumped in my arms and cuddled like he was going to sleep. Ahhhh so cute!

He has decided my step mum’s name is “fan” because they have fans at home and he loves them. So now every night when I put him to bed he says:

Nigh nigh Pooh (Winnie the Pooh, his favourite book)

Nigh nigh daddy

Nigh nigh mum

Nigh nigh Pop

Nigh nigh Fan

My step mum thinks it is hilarious and when he calls her “fan” she says “I’m your number one fan”.

With Pop and Fan!

Things are not going well are his swimming lessons. We had to change instructors because of the timing and he has not bonded with the new instructor and will not have a bar of it. The last instructor we had took the time to build a rapport and by lesson 2 he loved her and loved swimming. The new instructor just keeps her distance so she doesn’t upset him and she’s busy because it’s a full class. Last week he started crying when I got out his bathers to go to class so I decided to skip it, it’s meant to be fun and not worth getting upset about. We have an amazing indoor water park and pool only 20 minutes away so we might do our own play for the next few months instead and try lessons again in summer. Funnily enough, this week I ran into two of the mums from our previous class and they both had to change lessons too and have the same new teacher and their kids don’t enjoy it anymore and have also quit.

One nice thing for me is that he’s starting to become more of a mummy’s boy. He has always favoured his dad and will often scream if I pick him up because he only wants dad. πŸ’” He’s fine if it’s just me and him, but if he knows his dad is around, he just wants dad. Yesterday, for the first time, he screamed for me when AJ was trying to put him to bed and I can’t pretend I didn’t love it.

19 Months is an Adventure

This month I am reminded of that poem “There was a little girl…”, my mum used to sing that poem to me all the time. I actually sung it to her when she was taking her last breaths as it reminds me of being a little girl and my mum singing to me. But that’s not the point of this story, the part I can relate to with Augie is:

When she was good, she was very good indeed, but when she was bad she was horrid.

This describes Augie right now. Most of the time he is pure sunshine. Absolutely hilarious, saying funny things, being cute and cheeky and sweet. He’s full of smiles and hugs and kisses and silly games.

Then he has a tantrum. A full on toddler tantrum. Holy shit. It’s so hard. The poor little guy must have a lot of big emotions happening. I find it hard to know how to handle them. Sometimes I try to distract him, other times I ignore him. It breaks my heart though because I just want to pick him up and give him a cuddle.

The main things he tantrums over are wanting to play with the peanut butter jar (it’s glass so he can’t have it and I tried buying him a plastic brand but he’s smart enough to know that’s not the ‘real’ PB we eat) and wanting to play in the car. He loves to sit in the car and push buttons and pretend to drive, but it’s too hot to sit in there for too long. Or of course wanting the bloody phone. We barely let him use it, but he’s obsessed. I try to stay off my phone around him, but I need to be somewhat attached for work.

It’s so hard to know the right way to deal with these tantrums. I worry that my gentle approach could turn him into a brat. I don’t know how to find the right balance. I guess this is being a mum… always worrying that you have messed up your child! The good thing is that at playgroup yesterday, two mum’s I’m friends with mentioned their son’s behaviour had drastically changed this month in very similar ways to Augie. They are all born within a month of each other so I’m hoping it’s just a phase.

Augie has become so much more curious about people. He’s still shy, but he will approach people sometimes now and want to interact. He walks up to bigger kids and pats them on the back, they normally just look at him like he’s a weirdo, but that’s ok. I think he’s grown in confidence and it’s so lovely to watch.

With his cousin

He still struggles with new people though, we had to change swimming lessons because the time he had was during his nap. I knew it would be a disaster. We’ve had 5 weeks of his head in my neck and clinging onto me for dear life. He loves swimming, but he doesn’t like new people and the new lessons seem more basic than his old lessons. I sneak away and let him jump off the side of the pool or swim under water and his whole face lights up again. We’ll get there!

This month Augie took his first flight. It was only very short, Melbourne to Sydney (a little over an hour). Wow. How do people do long flights with toddlers? He just wanted to wiggle and play and Jetstar flights do not have much room. Can you believe that on the way home the woman in front of AJ (who had Augie in his lap) put her seat back? FFS. Honestly, I have no desire to go on anymore flights with Augie until he’s a little easier to entertain.

Oh and I tried to be tricky and booked the flight for during his nap time. That was a mistake. He finally fell asleep as the plane wheels touched down on landing so I had to carry him all through the airport, to get our bags, to the pick up area across the other side of the airport where my sister in law picked us up. Then he woke up as soon as we got in the car.

Actually, travelling with Augie this trip felt exhausting. He is just into everything at the moment. We stayed with my brother and sister in law and, even though they have a 2 year old, their house is not childproofed. Their daughter just doesn’t get into things (I’m so jealous). Drawers with knives, medicines left out, chemicals in cupboards, all the kitchen cupboards had breakable things in them, the stair gates were often left open and so many things for him to destroy. For instance, there was a glass candle sitting on a shelf where toys are kept so Augie dropped it on the tiles and of course smashed everywhere. I just had to follow him around for 5 days. Plus he never sleeps well when we travel. Remind me not to go anywhere for the next 6 months.

Augie got his first two eye teeth through this month and the other two will be through soon I hope. They have been causing him to be a bit cranky and waking during the night. Hopefully after this we get a little break before his 2 year old molars come through. I hate seeing him sad.

His sleep has been much better this month. He’s sleeping 8.00 pm – 7.00 am with a nap between 12.00 pm – 2.00 pm. Like I mentioned, he has been waking and needing cuddles, but that’s ok, he just likes to put his head on my chest and snuggle in.

Oh and the big news for me to whinge about this month is that we need to move house again. The owners of our property are moving in so we need to find a new house. Fark!!!!!! I do not want to move house. Trying to move with a toddler and with both AJ and I working from home is going to be tough. Plus I love my house and location and I don’t think we’ll be that lucky again. The silver lining is that I will be able to get a house without stairs. I still have night terrors every single night about Augie’s accident. I wake up and think Augie is going to fall down the stairs and have to check the stair gates and check he’s in his cot, except I’m still asleep and so confused and think I’ve lost him. It’s awful and I’m relieved that I can hopefully find a house without stairs now. AJ will be relieved that I’ll be slightly less crazy now.

This all sounds very negative, Augie has been a handful for sure, but still a constant delight. He’s started loving The Wiggles and dancing to Hot Potato. He repeats everything I say, even full sentences, but they don’t make much sense coming from him. He can count to 10 (most of the time anyway) and sings along when we sing the alphabet. He still plays peekaboo obsessively and his new favourite book is Winnie the Pooh. He’s finally getting the hang of colouring in, but he gets distracted quickly and eats the crayon. The weird new thing he does is follow me to the toilet and pass me toilet paper and then try to pull my underwear up for me. Oh and the funniest new word he says “doodle”. He says it “doo-dool” and I laugh every time I hear him say it.

19 Months is an adventure.

16 Months is Delightful

I’m on the train heading into the city for my last commute for the year. Thank god. This commute is so tough. I only do it once a week, but the almost 6 hour return trip really knocks me out. I’m still working for the rest of the week, but just from home like I normally do.

Actually I just realised that this time next week it’ll be Christmas! We’ve been really enjoying the holidays season with Augie this year, though he doesn’t actually know (or care) what’s going on. We’ve done the Santa photos, Christmas light drive, Myer Christmas windows, baked Christmas cookies, listen to Christmas music all day and lots of local Christmas events. We stayed in the city for the night for my work Christmas party and did lots of Christmas activities so I think we’ll make that a yearly tradition. I can’t wait until next year when he might get more excited.

Augie is a very shy baby so we knew we’d need to get in the Santa photo with him. He’s still not feeling very happy about the situation!

I think I say this every month, but the changes over the past month in Augie have been unbelievable. It’s like he suddenly understands everything.

  • Loves playing chasey and “I’m going to get you”. I say to him to “go get dad” and he’ll run and jump on AJ.
  • Peekaboo never gets old around here. It’s all day, every day. We sneak up on AJ and play boo and he gets so excited that he lets out a little giggle and AJ has to pretend he doesn’t know we are there. It’s so cute.
  • He does the actions to his favourite songs now and when I read his favourite books he’ll say the words I leave out on purpose.

With his grandparents

  • He loves songs and games with suspense and will squeal and laugh uncontrollably when we are doing “this little piggy” and “incy wincy spider”. Then say “more” and we do it over and over again.
  • His favourite game is counting. Loves to count to 5 and when I’m putting him to bed he likes me to just count over and over again as he finds it soothing. He grabs my hand and pulls down my fingers as I count. He has number magnets on the fridge and he carries them around all day. When he’s upset I just ask him to go get his number 2 (his favourite number) and it distracts him every time.
  • He will be cheeky and delay bedtime by giving me lot of kisses and cuddles. He knows I love kisses and cuddles so he just keeps doing it to get out of going to bed.

  • He won’t sit in his high chair much anymore. He wants to sit at his little play table or the big table. Actually I need to buy him a booster seat this week.

  • Doesn’t say the word “no” but says “nah” instead. So I ask him if he wants more banana and he says “nah”. It’s very funny.

Honestly, he’s so much fun right now. He’d been a bit of hard work from around the 12 month mark, but he seems more independent again now. He’ll potter around the house entertaining himself (making mess and mischief) most of the time.

Speaking of mischief, he can almost open doors now, loves to get into the toilets (ahhhh) and is obsessed with electrical switches. He turns them on and off constantly and he has to turn the lights off when we leave a room. Actually, in the library the other day he turned an outlet switch off and it turned out it was for the computers people were sitting at doing work. OMG. I was so embarrassed, I just ran away.

Probably his favourite thing in the world is an overhead fan. He just screams “fan” if we go somewhere with a fan. I had to leave a shop a couple of days ago because it had two fans and he just went mental. Everyone thought it was funny, but it was a little embarrassing how much noise he was making. The funniest thing is if we go somewhere that has a fan but they aren’t switched on. He grabs my chin with his hands and points my face to the ceiling as if to say “sort this out mum”.

Bed time is an ongoing struggle. He’s been in a leap and hasn’t been going to bed until 10.30 pm!!! Then I have to get up for work at 5.00 am. Seriously FML. His little brain is in over-drive and he can’t wind down. Once he falls asleep he doesn’t ever wake up, but he just won’t fall asleep. Then I have to wake him at 8.30 am because he wants to sleep all day. Fighting sleep has always been his issue and it’s hard to find advice on this as most sleep information is about babies who wake in the night. Or advice centres around sleep training and that’s not for me (I can’t handle any level of crying it out to sleep train). Anyway, this is actually the last leap he’ll ever have, apparently after this one they stop, so maybe these sleep issues will improve. Or I could be delusional!

Augie has always been obsessed with his dad, but lately it’s even more extreme. He won’t let me hold him, he just screams “daddy” constantly. He cries when AJ leaves the room. He’s fine when I take him out and it’s just me and him, but if he knows AJ is in the house he goes nuts. It’s actually starting to get to me a little, but I’m sure it’s just a stage? Bloody AJ being the ‘fun’ parent…

All in all, I need to be super soppy and say that I’m just grateful for every single day with my little family. I feel so lucky to have them.