Balancing Act

I struggle with balance more than I struggle with anything else when it comes to food. I am a classic all or nothing personality with food… and with a lot of other things in life… If eat a slice of pizza, I may as well eat the whole thing… and a tub of ice cream to wash it down. It doesn’t matter if I am not hungry, I better eat all of the food because I will be back on the ‘diet’ tomorrow.

I could have a perfectly lovely dinner with friends and then come home and raid the fridge because I had blown the diet now anyway. So I started to say no to social invitations because I couldn’t trust myself to eat like a normal person. I would overthink what I would eat (I’ll just order the salad and only have one glass of wine) and then I would come home and binge on whatever crap I could find.

In the first week of the new year my girlfriend invited me to enjoy drinks in the sunshine while we were on holidays from work. As usual, I had overindulged during the holidays and felt like I should stick to clean and healthy living until my pants buttoned up again, so I declined the invitation. Then I got angry at myself because I felt like I was always saying no to fun things because of my stupid diet.

This triggered me to assess what the hell I am doing with my life. Why do I make life so miserable for myself? Don’t I have enough shitty things in my life, without deliberately making my life shittier?

So now I am trying to find a way I can balance having a fun social life, with living a healthy lifestyle. This doesn’t come naturally to me at all. I either want to stay home and avoid being around food completely or go out and eat like a crazy person.

I am getting better, slowly. On Friday night I went out after work and had one glass of wine and then came home and ate a normal healthy dinner. Every fibre of my being wanted to keep the party going and head out for more drinks and an indulgent dinner. But I know that if I can enjoy learn to enjoy life in a more balanced way, I’ll get to experience more and maintain a more healthy weight. It’s worth a shot.

Louis ck meme

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4 thoughts on “Balancing Act

  1. I am exactly the same. I do awesome when following a fairly strict eating plan (the “nothing”) then something happens and I comepletly blow it with the “all” – triggered either by an off-the-plan treat, or a binge driven by whatever emotional factor is at play. I confessed all to my trainer a few months ago, and she constantly remarks on my need to find a balance with food. I know I can do it (about 10 years ago I lost 55 kgs and kept it off for 2 years), but I really struggle.

    Anyway, the short of my long story is I recently started seeing a Psychologist to hopefully address my eating issues. I’ve only been a few times and have no wise advice to impart just yet, but I’ll let you know if I gain any insight (although the balance and the triggers etc are seemingly *very* personall…!!).

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  2. Learning to eat in moderation was a struggle for me too, but it is a worthwhile goal. For me there were a few things that made it easier. One was having my lap band to keep my meal portions small. Another was gaining an understanding of the metabolic/physiological issues involved. For example, when a person eats carbs, it causes their blood sugar to spike and then plummet and they will often unconsciously seek more carbs to regain that previous state. By adding protein and fiber to your carbs, you may be able to buffer the extreme reaction. Also just knowing it is happening can help you to understand and not be frustrated with yourself. So when you eat out with friends and then come home a feel the urge to eat something else, you remind yourself that your blood sugar has taken a nose dive, but that is normal and you will feel better shortly. It isn’t an attack on you or your moral fiber. It is simply a physiological reaction to the spike and plummet in blood sugar. I have also learned to get away from the all or nothing thinking. If I eat too much, I don’t keep eating (usually) because I’ve already blown it. I don’t go on or off a diet. I just plug away at a reasonable food and fitness plan and forgive myself the occasional lapse. A therapist is a great way to work toward that goal. Good luck and keep posting!

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