Life Goes On

A lot has happened since I was last blogging regularly, before my mum died. Though it also feels like life has been standing still, but I think that was just me trying to hold onto my old life. In a way I think that I have been resisting change because I hated every new thing in my life that my mum wasn’t here to experience with me.

I hated when I got my hair cut and my mum couldn’t see it, I hated when I bought a new rug and I couldn’t show my mum, I hated that I couldn’t tell my mum about my new job and I hate that my mum has never seen the apartment I live in now. I just hate that my life has to go on without her.

It’s been almost 17 months since she passed away and I still reach for my phone to call and text her and it still takes my breath away when I realise I can’t. I honestly can’t believe that it will be like this forever.

Part of the reason I started blogging again is because I need a place to talk about my mum. I don’t want to be depressing or have a pity party, but I don’t have anyone else that I can really talk to about her. I don’t have much family, and since she passed away we haven’t exactly got closer… I feel like I am losing her more and more each day and I want to talk about her so that I can keep her with me.

mum snow

Me, mum and my little brother at the snow many years ago. This photo really sums up my mum’s dry personality and makes me smile 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Life Goes On

  1. She can see everything that is happening now.. they are always there 🙂

    I totally get it thought I am the same I think wow John boy (my dads nick name) would love that and have to remind myself…

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  2. I had so many thoughts when I read your post, I just didn’t know where to start & how to express them without sounding (now I can’t decide which word to use!) – so here goes in dot point!
    #write about your Mum as much as you like/for as long as you like – I love seeing her bought to life
    #I wish I could give you a hug every day from your Mum
    #I think you are lucky that you had such a close relationship with your Mum
    #I think that in time you will subconsciously remember she is gone
    #I also think that sometimes you will still have your breath taken away by the fact that she is no longer in this plane & that aint a bad thing
    #I wish for you to live your life to the fullest – I think your Mum will see & be so proud of you
    #love the photo!!!!

    xoxo

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